Being Thankful

November 22nd, 2007

I’ve cultivated unhappiness to the point of silliness. I look at the faults in my life with a magnifying glass, and refuse to look in the mirror and see the wonderful masterpiece that blinks back at me.

I have eyesight! But I concentrate on my nearsightedness. I can hear perfectly, but I forget to be thankful about that. I can smell and taste. I have the full motion of my body, but complain to myself about being clumsy. My body is wonderful, but I am no movie star. Should I be unhappy? Should I dwell on how much I weigh, how old I am, and the black circles under my eyes?

I have a sharp mind, but am absent minded, should I be thankful? I have a talent for music, but can’t dance. I love computers and gadgets, but don’t go out and have fun very often. Should I be thankful?

My dad is very quiet and we aren’t very close. My mother is strong and dominant, and I resent women who are too much like her. But in my father I have an example of self-control, fidelity, compassion and humility that many would wish to have. I admire my mother’s persistence, organization, and a natural leadership. I can only say thank you, God, for my mother and father; I love them.

I have so much to be thankful for. I thank God for having created me just as I am. I thank him for my family, who love me as only family could love. I’m far from rich, but by choice. I have suffered much, but that makes me care more about others who suffer. Just to exist, to breathe, is enough to be joyful about. When will I learn?

  • Anonymous

    In addition to the many things I’m thankful for, I’m thankful when I click *Favorites*, *Pensieve*, and I see a new post to read and have the opportunity to comment on.

    Thanks, Aaron.


  • Aaron Ortiz

    Cool kman, glad to be one of your favorites!

  • Camila

    A little late, but just wanted to say Hello. Keep looking on the bright side! Are you still moving to Mexico? Hope all is well! Be Blessed.<3

  • La Gringa

    Aaron, Aaron, Aaron! You have so much to be thankful for compared to millions of your compatriots!

    You need to lighten up and enjoy your life. You aren’t perfect! So what? No one is! And no one expects you to be. Don’t be so uptight and you’ll have more fun.

    All this is from someone who spent most of my 20’s depressed and drenched in doom and gloom (and still do to some extent). Have you thought about visiting a doctor? Maybe an antidepressant would help to get you over this slump that you are in.

    Do you eat much dairy? I read once that dairy allergies can cause dark circles under the eyes. Try eating more fruits and veggies. Do you get enough sleep? Lack of sleep really affects my mood.

    There is so much that I admire about you so I’m always surprised when I read posts like this from you. I want you to be happy, not perfect.

    Some day you are going to meet the love of your life and she’ll be attracted to you for who you are, not some fake perfect person that you want to be. If you don’t like yourself, no one else will either.

    Are you coming to La Ceiba over the holidays? I want to see you and slap some sense into you.

    –Just kidding, of course!

  • Aaron Ortiz

    Ouch Gringa, thanks, LOL!

  • La Gringa

    Eeewwww! I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings! I really didn’t intend to. I hope that you really are ‘LOL’ because IMHO that is what you need more than anything — Laugh at yourself! Once you quit worrying about your own flaws and get interested in other people, things will fall into place.

    Women like self-confidence in a man, not perfection. Self doubt is not attractive to the opposite sex. If you can find a way to be happy with who you are, I truly believe that changes will happen in your life. Maybe you should take some dancing lessons! AND, Aaron, don’t force yourself to be Fred Astaire, just try to have fun with it.

    Seriously, you might consider talking to a doctor. There is no shame in it and if a doctor or a prescription can help you get over the slump, wouldn’t it be worth it? I know that depression feeds on itself, with each new thing making you feel more hopeless.

    I worry about you, Aaron, and don’t like seeing you (reading you) sad. You are a much admired person.

  • Aaron Ortiz

    Thanks Gringa, I will consider it (the dancing and the doctor)! I wasn’t offended in the least, and yeah, I did snortle out loud! 😀

    I was on meds last year, but I stopped taking them because they’re expensive and I didn’t have a job back then. It’s a different story now.

    I’ll post about it tomorrow, there’s gonna be a major change in my life! Today was a financial milestone, and I’m glad for what’s coming.

    The dark circles under my eyes are hereditary. My dad used to call me Racoon! But all of his side of the family has them.

  • Anonymous

    You’re a talented guy, Aaron.

    Just imagine if Vincent Van Gogh was treated with meds and took up dancing instead of committing to the amazing painted works he produced for the world.

    I’m not suggesting ignoring any serious disorders however, I kinda think you’re just a very talented, artistic guy trying to find your place in life, and it’s sounding as though you are, and you’re not afraid to share your ups and downs with your readers.


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