
I made friends with a drunkard yesterday, not that I had much choice. What would you do if you sat next to a guy in a bus, and he leaned over to your ear and whispered: “I just got out of jail today”? I almost jumped out of my skin!
He looked pretty normal when I sat next to him, but I was tired, it was 10pm, raining, and the bus was packed. People were lining up in a double line in the center aisle. I couldn’t just go find another seat. So I tried to ignore him.
After talking about jail reeking with foul smells, he asked me if I thought he smelled bad, because the lady who hat sat near him earlier had complained. I didn’t think he was particularly smelly, but I just nodded and pretended I was sleepy.
My philosophy with drunks is to be polite to them, believe what they say, and try to avoid them. But here I was stuck next to one, a very talkative drunk (aren’t they all), and I really didn’t want to lose my seat. He might have been a pickpocket, or a rapist, or a murderer, who knows how he ended up in jail? So for safety, humoring him seemed best.
He then started talking about what he had done the moment he got out of jail: go ask a friend for 500 pesos (50 dollars). That’s enough money to survive for a week, but what did he spend it on? Prostitutes and beer. He even invited me to go with him sometime.
That was the turning point of the conversation.
Don’t ask me how, but I was able to suggest to him that he ought to go to Alcoholics Anonymous. I told him about several friends of mine who almost drunk themselves to death, literally. He listened pretty attentively, considering his state. He told me he had once been in rehab for months, how he had lost his wife, his job, his money. He was depressed about losing everything, and the death of his parents, and his hopeless situation. He didn’t ask for money.
I suggested he get help, that he wouldn’t be able to get out of his alcoholism alone. Also, that his situation was only hopeless because he believed it was hopeless. Thus, his belief became the truth.
I’ve had several alcoholic friends, and am not foolish enough to think that our conversation made a difference. He was certainly feeling much better at the end of it, smiling and saying he would go back to rehab. The grim truth is that he probably won’t. But hey, maybe he will, who knows?
What struck me most about the whole thing is to see myself reflected in his predicament, my struggles with depression and controlling my own addictions. It would be hard to find a person more repulsive than a drunk ex-con. But I could relate with him in a way most people wouldn’t. He helped me to see my mission here in Monterrey, not to be a savior, but a sinner who knows the way.
Image by Nikki L., used with a Creative Commons license
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